Thanksgiving jokes | Thanksgiving Jokes Images and Riddles

Thanksgiving jokes images

Thanksgiving jokes | Thanksgiving Jokes Images and Riddles

Funny Jokes on Thanksgiving | Thanksgiving Jokes Riddles |

Thanksgiving One Liner Jokes

Q. What did the turkey say before he was roasted?

A. “OK, spare me no insults. Roast me!”

Jack: Why did the farmer run a steamroller over his potato field on Thanksgiving Day?
Peter: Why?
Jack: He wanted to raise mashed potatoes.

Sister: Mom wants your to help us fix Thanksgiving Day dinner.
Brother: Why? Is it broken?

Two cannibals are enjoying a Thanksgiving dinner and a light conversation about all things family.
“I just can’t stand my mother-in-law,” sighs one.
“That’s quite understandable,” nods the other one, “why don’t you just have the potatoes with the gravy?”

About two weeks into November, the head turkey turns to his second-in-command and says, “I have a feeling something’s going down.
The farmer just unfriended me on Facebook.”

Thanksgiving jokes images

Q: How many chefs does it take to stuff a Thanksgiving turkey?
A: Only one and even then it’s a pretty tight squeeze

About two weeks into November, one turkey turns to his pal and says, “I have a feeling something’s going down. The farmer just unfriended me on Facebook.”

The native Indians were laughing at the Pilgrims for being so pale and never getting a proper tan.
But they did get a tan. A puritan.

“The turkey is dilated to 3.5 inches, stuffing is crowning, time to eat everybody!”

That’s what happens at Thanksgiving when your mom is an obstetrician.

Funny Joke on Thanksgiving and Turkey images

Q: Why didn’t the turkey bake properly on Thanksgiving?
A: I’ve no idea but I suspect some fowl play.

Q: Should you have that annoying distant auntie for Thanksgiving dinner?
A: It’s really not worth it. Just have the turkey.

Q: Why couldn’t the Thanksgiving entertainment band perform?
A: Somebody had eaten the drumsticks.

You think you’re crazy about Thanksgiving?
You’ve got nothing on the turkeys. When Thanksgiving approaches, they literally lose their heads!

Thanksgiving joke on pumpkin pie images

Q: Can you tell the difference between a female and a male turkey?
A: The male is the one with the TV remote.

Q: What can never ever be eaten for Thanksgiving dinner?
A: Thanksgiving breakfast.

Q: What happens when you’re too harsh on the cranberries and make them sad?
A: They turn into blueberries.

Thanksgiving Dinner Joke image showing a chef carrying a turkey roast

Q: How did Albert Einstein celebrate Thanksgiving?
A: He was very thinkful.

A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store, but couldn’t find one big enough for her family. She asked the stock boy, “Do these turkeys get any bigger?” The stock boy answered, “No ma’am, they’re dead.”

Q: Why did the policeman stop you on your way home last Thanksgiving?
A: Because you far exceeded your feed limit.

Thanksgiving joke image of a funny turkey roast

Knock, knock!

Who’s there?


Arthur who?

Arthur any leftovers?

Thanksgiving joke on relativility

How To Cook A Turkey:

Step 1: Go buy a turkey

Step 2: Take a drink of whiskey

Step 3: Put turkey in the oven

Step 4: Take another 2 drinks of whiskey

Step 5: Set the degree at 375 ovens

Step 6: Take 3 more whiskeys of drink

Step 7: Turk the bastey

Step 8: Whiskey another bottle of get

Step 9: Ponder the meat thermometer

Step 10: Glass yourself a pour of whiskey

Step 11: Bake the whiskey for 4 hours

Step 12: Take the oven out of the turkey

Step 13: Floor the turkey up off of the pick

Step 14: Turk the carvey

Step 15: Get yourself another scottle of botch

Step 16: Tet the sable and pour yourself a glass of turkey

Step 17: Bless the dinner and pass out.

Joke - What Thanksgiving REALLY Means

A grandma was showing the children a painting of the Pilgrim Family on a Thanksgiving Day card that they had received and she commented, ‘The Pilgrim children enjoyed going to church with their mothers and fathers and praying to God.’
One of the grandson looked at her doubtfully and asked, ‘Then why is their father carrying that rifle?’

Pilgrim showing the four basic food groups - a joke for Thanksgiving

A young boy, after hearing the story of Thanksgiving and how the Indians and the Pilgrims sat down together, climbed up into his father’s lap and said, ‘Daddy, did you know that if we were Indians, you would be a brave and Mom would be a squawk?’
‘That is the best description of your mother I have ever heard’, replied his daddy as he ducked.

Read More Pilgrim Jokes

Q: What do you call a turkey that’s got no feathers?
A: Thanksgiving dinner.

Q: What is the theory of relativity?
A: Take Thanksgiving for example. The turkey gets stuffed, you get stuffed, but you’re relatively better off.

Turkey on Facebook - the thanksgiving joke

Q: Why did the turkey cross the road before Thanksgiving?
A: He was trying to give people the impression that he was a chicken.

Q: What do you get when you cross an octopus with a turkey?
A: Finally enough drumsticks for everybody at Thanksgiving.

Q: What happens when you seriously overstuff yourself with turkey at Thanksgiving?
A: You have a few slices of pumpkin pie.

Q: What is the difference between a chicken and a turkey?
A: Chickens celebrate Thanksgiving!!

Q: What is a turkey’s favorite dessert?
A: Peach gobbler

Q: Why should you never set the turkey next to the desert?
A: Because he will gobble, gobble it up!

A man was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store for Thanksgiving Day, but couldn’t find one big enough for her family. She asked a stock boy, “Do these turkeys get any bigger?”
“No, ma’am. They’re dead.”

Read More Turkey Jokes

Q: What would mothers most like to make on Thanksgiving dinner?

A: Good restaurant reservations.

Q: What should you wear to Thanksgiving dinner?

A: A har-vest!

John: I was going to serve sweet potatoes with Thanksgiving dinner, but I sat on them.

Tom: What are you serving instead?

John: Squash.

Q: What vegetables would you like with your Thanksgiving dinner?

A: Beets me!

Q: Should you have your whole family for Thanksgiving dinner?

A: No, you should just have the turkey!

Read More Dinner Jokes

A man in Florida, in his 80s, calls his son in New York one November day.
The father says to the son, “I hate to tell you, but we’ve got some troubles here in the house. Your mother and I can’t stand each other anymore, and we’re getting a divorce. I’ve had it! I want to live out the rest of my years in peace. I’m telling you now, so you and your sister shouldn’t go into shock later when I move out.”
He hangs up, and the son immediately calls his sister in the Hamptons and tells her the news.
The sister says, “I’ll handle this.”
She calls Florida and says to her father, “Don’t do ANYTHING till we get there! We’ll be there Wednesday night.”
The father agrees, “All right.”
The old man hangs up the phone and hollers to his wife, “Okay, they’re coming for Thanksgiving. Now, what are we going to tell them for Christmas?”

Thanksgiving is the time to spend the holidays with loved ones

Q: What is the difference between Election day and Thanksgiving day?
A: On Thanksgiving, you get a turkey for the day; on Election day, you get a turkey for four years.

Read More General Jokes

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