49 spooky Halloween jokes for kids
Charlotte Thomas
Senior Writer
Get ready for some ghoulish giggles with these family-friendly Halloween jokes. Suitable for kids AND adults, they’re fiendishly funny and perfect for this time of year!
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Whatever you’re doing this Halloween, whether you’re carving pumpkins, having a family Halloween party or heading out for some socially distanced trick or treating, a few Halloween jokes will help get you in the spooky spirit.
These hilarious jokes and puns are perfect for little monsters and are bound to tickle a few funny bones. We’ve got ghost jokes, jokes about witches, skeleton jokes, vampire jokes and all-round ghoulish gags.
So don your best fancy dress, crank up your Halloween playlist and get ready to SCREAM with laughter!
Want some more spooky fun? Check out this collection of side-splitting jokes: Halloween Jokes For Kids: 150 Halloween Jokes. See more details here at Amazon.
The best ghost jokes for kids
Ghostly giggles are guaranteed with these spooky Halloween jokes.
1. What’s a ghost’s favourite position in football?
Ghoul-keeper
2. What do ghosts like to eat in the summer?
I scream
3. What do you find in a ghost’s nose?
BOO-gies!
4. Why are ghosts such bad liars?
You can see right through them
5. What’s a ghost’s favourite game?
Hide and shriek!
6. What do ghosts wear if they have bad eyesight?
Spook-tacles
7. What room does a ghost not need?
A living room!
8. What do ghosts put on their Sunday dinner?
Grave-y!
9. What kind of key does a ghost use to unlock their house?
A spook-key
10. What do ghosts use to wash their hair?
Sham-BOO!
11. What are ghosts’ favourite trees?
Ceme-trees!
12. What do ghosts eat for dinner?
Spook-ghetti
The best skeleton jokes for kids
These spooky skeleton jokes are real Halloween rib ticklers.
13. Why didn’t the skeleton go to the dance?
He had no body to go with
14. How do you make a skeleton laugh?
Tickle her funny bone
15. What does a skeleton order at a restaurant?
Spare ribs
16. Why didn’t the skeleton go to see a scary movie?
They didn’t have the guts
17. What do skeletons say before eating?
Bone Appetit!
The best witch jokes for kids
Practise your best witch’s cackle as these witchy jokes are going to crack you up.
18. What do witches learn at school?
Spelling
19. What do you call a witch who lives at the seaside?
A sand-witch
20. What does a witch use to keep her hair up?
Scare-spray!
21. What’s the problem with twin witches?
You never know which witch is which.
22. What do you call a witch with chickenpox?
An itchy witchy!
23. What do the fastest witches use to get around?
Vroomsticks!
24. How do you make a witch itch?
Take away the ‘w’!
25. What happens to witches who break school rules?
They get ex-spelled!
The best vampire jokes for kids
These funny vampire jokes are just fang-tastic!
26. What do you get when you cross a vampire and a snowman?
Frostbite
27. Why do vampires seem sick?
They’re always coffin
28. What’s a vampire’s favourite fruit?
A neck–tarine!
29. Which Halloween monster is good at maths?
Count Dracula!
30. Where do vampires keep their money?
The blood bank!
31. Why are vampires so unpopular?
Because they’re a pain in the neck!
32. How can you tell a vampire’s been in the cake shop?
They’ve sucked all of the jam out of the doughnuts
The best spooky jokes for kids
Monsters, pumpkins and things that go bump in the night … we love these spooky Halloween jokes.
33. What do mummies like listening to on Halloween?
Wrap music!
34. Who did Frankenstein take to the disco?
His ghoul-friend
35. What do birds say on Halloween?
Trick or tweet
36. What do you call Winnie the Pooh on Halloween?
Winnie the BOO!
37. Why don’t mummies like going on holiday?
They’re worried they’ll unwind!
38. What’s the funniest day of the year?
Ha-ha-Halloween!
39. What car does Frankenstein drive?
A monster truck!
40. What do little monsters call their parents?
Mummy and Dead-y!
41. Which spooky animal is best at playing rounders?
A bat!
42. Do zombies eat their trick or treat sweets with their fingers?
No, they eat their fingers separately!
43. What day do monsters eat people on?
Chews-day!
44. What monster fits on the end of your finger?
The bogeyman!
45. What do you call a monster with a broken leg?
A Hoblin Goblin
46. Knock, Knock!
Who’s there?
Boo!
Boo who?
Don’t cry … it’s just my Halloween costume!
47. Why did the Cyclops give up teaching?
He only had one pupil!
48. What do you call a fat pumpkin?
A plumpkin!
49. Boy: ‘Mum, everyone at school says I look like a werewolf!’
Mum: ‘Be quiet and comb your face.’
Got a joke to share? Crack out your funnies in the forum below …
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