Valentine’s Day 2022: People Share Really Bad Dating Stories

Valentine's Day 2022: People Share Really Bad Dating Stories

Valentine’s Day 2022: People Share Really Bad Dating Stories


Things went horribly wrong on a date with one of the women, one of them was taken to hospital.Photo/Getty Images

Almost all of us, at some point, have had a — simply put — a really bad date.

Maybe they were shorter than in the photo, were rude to the waiter, or chewed their food like a combine. This is part of the modern dating crusade. Pat Benatar didn’t sing “Love is the Battlefield” for nothing.

But those so nightmarish dates, they went straight beyond bad disasters into war stories to be shared for years to come.

My friends, that’s what we’re here to celebrate today.

From bedwetting to sexual encounters that ended with a trip to the emergency room, here are some of the funniest, weirdest and saddest dating stories, as says.

Sit back, pour yourself a hard drink, and—just in time for the most romantic day of the year—contemplate the great miracle of a time in which any of us can find true love.

the one with the burst capillary

“I had a couple of dates with this guy and we went home together. He was disappointed in me and all of a sudden I felt wet all around me and he said, ‘Oh my God. Oh my god, my god, my god .’. I sat there and was like, ‘My period is coming, this is so embarrassing’. I turned on the light and there was blood everywhere, soaking the sheets, and it looked like a crime scene. I said, ‘Oh my god Nah, I’m very, very sorry’ and he looked up and there was blood all over his face and he said, ‘I recently had nose surgery and the capillaries in my nose burst and I need to go to the hospital’. “

the one who lifts the leg

“On our first date, we were walking home after dinner when he suddenly took a few steps ahead of me, raised his leg and farted. When I looked shocked, he said, ‘I thought you would think it was funny’. Then I said, ‘If I did that, what would you do? He said, ‘YUCK’.”

the one with adam sandler

“A guy asked me to come over ‘watch a movie’. I’ve been around the block a few times so I know what that means *wink wink*. So I went there in sexy lingerie and a full face with makeup just for him Turn on the adults, sit on the other end of the couch, ignore me for an hour and a half, laugh hysterically at every joke in the movie. Needless to say, we didn’t have sex.”

the one who cried

“I just broke up with my boyfriend of three years and was heartbroken and couldn’t imagine life without him (my first normal relationship) and one night I went out and bumped into my 11th grade ‘boy’ Friend’ someone I’ve been dating for about 3 months. Anyway, we chatted and he also just had a devastating breakup. For some reason, we thought dating was a good idea, so we caught up for a drink, It becomes two, then three, then about 12.

Almost all of us, at some point, are on a simple date that sucks.Photo/Getty ImagesAlmost all of us, at some point, are on a simple date that sucks.Photo/Getty Images

“Anyway, we were walking home drunk in the real boogie suburb where he lived, and all of a sudden we all started crying for our ex, like all-out crying, the kind of crying that your body can’t stop— The two of us were fucking drunk and yelling openly at 20. Then all of a sudden, the lights came on and a guy came out in his panties and was like, “Look, it sounds like you both have your heart broken. , it sucks, but some of us are struggling to sleep and you can be heard crying all over the street. “

“Years later, I ran into the same guy weirdly in London so we tried again – this time just for coffee and a walk in the park. About 10 minutes later a bird shit on his head, I didn’t say Everything was fine. I just couldn’t help staring at the bird shit on his head, so embarrassing. I kept wondering how he came home and saw the shit on his head and was so embarrassed.”

the one with the wall of fame

“It was a few days before Christmas and I was celebrating with some friends I hadn’t seen in a long time. After drinking and going to bars in Newtown, I decided to meet a man I was messaging on Tinder. We both went out with friends Now, he’s a doctor – what more could a girl want?


“I can’t remember his name after a night at his house. I went to the bathroom and found he didn’t have one, but there were three articles about when he was kidnapped in South Africa, including one across the toilet. It helped me know took his name, but I left soon after.”

the one with the naked cat cradle

“After a week of lightly funny banter on Instagram and a couple of cancelled dates, I finally invited this guy to my date (read: two, maybe three bottles of wine). All was well. Got a bit of a drunken guitar Playing and bad singing (do all men think guitar is an open invitation to play some B-rated Ben Howard??) We ended up sleeping together. Again, fine, whatever.

“Except after that, he said to me, ‘How funny would it be if we got married?’ I replied (jokingly), ‘How funny would it be if I kicked you out? “I ran to the bathroom to get him dressed but when I came out I saw this naked man standing in the hallway holding my cat.

“Then I remember the cat was outside – so he would open the door to my apartment and get naked. That was the last thing I found scariest.”

the one that rapunzel escaped

“I was in London on a date and we went home together. He had a drug-induced psychotic episode and locked me in his room and I tried to climb out the window but it was really high. So I waited until he calmed down.”

the one where the gum melted

“The guy I liked in high school made me ‘hang out’ late at night. So he came and picked me up in his mom’s minivan and we parked around the corner and climbed into the back seat. I was chewing Gum, so I’ll have that minty fresh breath, and I briefly thought I should spit it out at some point, but since I’m young and naive, I think we’re just making out, it’s no big deal.

“However, one thing led to another, I found myself unzipping his pants. Not to go into too much detail, but that part of a person’s body emits a lot of heat, obviously if your mouth is too hot , the chewing gum would melt into this disgusting sticky, cement-like substance. All I know is that I filled the poor man with chewing gum [redacted] But I’m too embarrassed and shy to stop and spit gum. When he got home, he texted me, “Are you chewing gum?” So I blocked his number and never spoke to him again.

The one who spilled “wine”

“I’ve been seeing this guy for a couple of weeks now and we were meeting up one night and we were both out – I was sober and he was drunk. He stayed and around 3am he shook me awake, Like, “You spilled something on the bed. “I got up, groggy and bewildered, to find the bed completely soaked and a strong smell of urine coming from his side.

“He was like, ‘Yeah, I think you spilled alcohol on the bed, it’s all over the place’. He’d obviously p***** himself and was embarrassed to admit it, so in his drunken state thought it was Yes it was a good idea to put a gas light on me. I washed the sheets and we slept in the other room and when we woke up in the morning he didn’t remember the moment at all but shyly admitted it had happened before and he was lying on his stomach while he was drinking Masturbate when drunk. That’s why you don’t date a 21-year-old.”

The one with the little brother

“I dated this girl and it turned out really well, so I invited her to my brother’s departure party for our next party (my brother is moving to Europe). Anyway, she ended up getting along well with my brother , the three of us – me, him and my date – went to a bar in town. I got up to go to the toilet and came back to find her making out with my little brother and left immediately.

“She ended up going home with him, not realizing that he was living with me. I got up to drink, so the three of us laughed at the situation and continued drinking. Then she ended up sleeping with me, she was date.”

the one with all the dog poo

“I was on a second date and he came to my house ‘to see a movie’ and I could smell this funky smell all the time and I thought, what the hell is that. Anyway, I’m sure he can smell it too, because Nothing happened, he didn’t even try to kiss me. When I left, I realized I stepped on shit, like, put my leg on his, sh*tty feet with my dog. No more news of him. “

The one with the crack

“Our first date, he invited me to a really fancy hotel bar, and after that I was having dinner with friends, so I dressed up in a tight dress that I just bought from Zara on sale. I went Going in felt awful hot, strutting, fashionably late, saw him sit down and wait for me. I sat down and suddenly heard this huge tearing sound.

“The zipper on the side of my skirt, from my underarm to my butt, completely popped, exposing my entire body, including my ugly granny spanks panties. There was literally no way to hide it, and it happened While he was talking, so I just sat there with all my shit out there, clumsily trying to cover the other guys in the bar with my arm, thinking, ‘Oh my God, I’m going to be kicked out of this bar Indecent exposure”, but as he continued to speak, his palms gradually became sweaty.

“At the end I had to interrupt me, so I thought, ‘I’m sorry, my skirt just completely ripped apart and half the people in this bar are looking at my underwear’ and turned around to show him the damage, He absolutely lost his shit lol. I managed to get it fixed in the bathroom and we were able to laugh it off and have a good time (along with about three bottles of champagne).

the one with the model scouts

“I was dating a guy who owned a sunglasses company. I told a story and he literally raised his hand to stop me and said, ‘I’m sorry, I just saw a really beautiful girl'” he had shaggy brown hair in a bar , perfect for my next campaign”. He got up and walked up to her and asked her to be a model.

the one with commando denim

“I was sleeping drunk with a guy, and as he was getting dressed and ready to leave, I noticed he was wearing jeans with no panties in them. I asked him why and he gave some flippant response, saying she just preferred to go raid Team. Under jeans. Needless to say about two weeks later, I had a bad yeast infection.”

the one with the funky coffee beans

“It’s partly my fault because I let it go on for so long, but the conversation sucks. He’s the funky trio and he didn’t ask me when he was chattering about coffee and sourcing indie beans and all the indie brands A question his friends have started. He also worked as a barista at an independent cafe and said, “The company girls seem to really like me because I just give them such a different perspective on their lives”, It would have been nice, but he strongly implied that I — a (then) lifestyle journalist — was blown away by his bohemian way of life.

“Then when I finally thought, no, this was enough, got the bill, and he said, ‘If you get this, I’ll get the next?’ I was so confronted that I swiped and got stabbed with an $80 bill. Hurt. I was a little drunk too, so I’m pretty sure I made a very subtle look at the waitress when I got off my seat. To his credit, he probably noticed and texted me, like: “What are your bank details? “He did transfer half of me in the end.”

The one with the biggest Kmart fan

“I dated this really independent guy when I was about 20, really broke in college where he worked at a bowling alley, and he kept saying how much he loves specially curated Japanese denim, loves the one-of-a-kind – $3000 vintage Jacket, I’m sitting there…

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