Top 20 Christmas cracker jokes for 2021 – Donald Trump, Brexit and Coleen Rooney
Who wants to live in a world when Christmas doesn’t accompany some of the worst jokes the world has ever seen?
It’s as traditional as buying Baileys and not drinking it, eating too much and depressing yourself watching Eastenders – the Christmas cracker joke is simply a crucial part of the festive season.
It has, of course, to be combined with perilously perching a paper crown on top of your head.
Love Island, Brexit , Coleen Rooney and schoolgirl eco-warrior Greta Thunberg are some of the subjects of 2021’s top cracker jokes.
There are others about Jeremy Corbyn and David Cameron.
Here are the top 20…
1. Why does Donald Trump have his Christmas dinner on a plastic plate? He doesn’t get on with China.
2. Why is Parliament like ancient Bethlehem? It takes a miracle to find three wise men there.
3. Christmas dinner is a lot like Brexit. Half the family were told they needed to make room for Turkey, so opted to leave Brussels.
4. Why has Santa been banned from sooty chimneys? Carbon footprints.
5. What is Coleen Rooney’s favourite game to play over the festive period? Guess Who?
6. Why doesn’t Jeremy Corbyn ever visit Santa? Because he struggles in the poles.
7. Why is Greta Thunberg boycotting parsnips and carrots at Christmas? Because she’s a swede-dish campaigner.
8. What’s the difference between Rudolph’s nose and David Cameron’s autobiography? Only one will be red at Christmas.
9. What do you call a snowman who goes on Love Island? A melt.
10. What is Olivia Colman’s favourite part of a turkey? The Crown.
11. What do The Sound of Music at Christmas and Nigel Farage have in common? Only a small cult following want to see it, but it just keeps coming back, repeating itself.
12. What is a Brexiteer’s fave film? The Nightmare Before Christmas.
13. Why couldn’t Rebekah Vardy join Coleen Rooney’s social media Nativity? Because there was no room at the Innstagram.
14. How does Santa import toys into Ireland? Through the Irish Sack-stop.
15. How can you tell if you are at a Brexit party this Christmas? Because everyone wants to leave.
16. Why have Brussels sprouts been banned from London this Christmas? There’s a new ultra-low emissions zone.
17. How can you make sure the right person comes down your chimney this Christmas? Get Coleen Rooney to block everyone else apart from Santa.
18. What do vegetarian EU supporters want for Christmas? Lettuce romaine.
19. What movie do the Three Wise Men watch on Christmas Day? A Star is Born.
20. Why should you never stay for Christmas with Remainers? They get angry when you want to leave.
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