Statutory warnings ahead of Valentine’s Day

Statutory warnings ahead of Valentine's Day

Statutory warnings ahead of Valentine’s Day


I want you to make my carrots and turnips
Eat iced apples in spring and watermelons in summer
I want to stir you into a glass
like crystalline molecules
sweeten my tea
treat you as white vinegar
For my jar of pickled ginger,
Lime and Bright Green Chili
I want you to be my everything
or i don’t want you at all

Songs, movies, and an upcoming Valentine’s Day lead us to believe that this is the only narrative around the concept of true love. This perfect soul mate fulfills all our desires. It’s like having to open the front door, all the cupboards inside, the car, the bar cabinet and the only key to our bank locker. It also has to accompany us on vacation, be indifferent to attractive human members and not fall asleep by the pool after three beers.

For this great romantic fable to continue, most end where it should be seen as the beginning. Jack was killed on the Titanic before Ross found him picking his nose in bed. Dilwale Dulhaniya Le Jayenge ends with Simran running to Raj at the train station. If it goes on, they’ll have to show us the couple taking the same train back to meet her father, with their three kids in the back, Raj eating batata vadas while looking at his phone, and Simran condescending Roll his eyes. After all, love reflects a fictional version of it, just like Gandhi did with Anupam Kher.

Illustration credit: Chad Crowe

To show what’s really going on in this “ilu ilu” business, let’s start where the movie ends. To get your attention, I’ll be recruiting two stock characters, Sharmaji ka beta and our lovely bathroom singer. You can change their gender and pronouns at will, but our plot remains more or less the same. Since we’re competing with movies, we also have exciting soundtracks.

1 | Stupid Love – Lady Gaga
After Sharmaji ka beta swiped at our singers, a chemical storm started in their brains. Sharma Jr puts a hastily printed selfie in front of a Zoom screen to fool HR while spending all his time texting his new love. On the other hand, she couldn’t come up with new ideas for her influencer marketing campaigns. For her reel, she found she just wanted to pick Lady Gaga raving, “All I want is love. I want your stupid love.

For most couples, this phase can last from six months to two years, and neurology professor Lucy Brown calls it a pause in negative judgments. This is the stage where there are no visible glitches, even those in stars. Unable to stand being apart because his mummy and her chacha wouldn’t allow them to live together, they left and held a partially sponsored destination wedding for themselves.

2 | Give Me Love – Ed Sheeran
She began to notice the way he pursed his lips, like sucking on an invisible straw, while refusing to go to the nursery with her. He was angry that she rejected his idea of ​​binge-watching all the Golmaal movies for the weekend. There are only four of them after all! She didn’t like the way he did biryani. He started giving her the secret to losing weight. She locked herself in the bathroom and blurted out, “Give me love!” when it became clear to her that not only did he have to prepare his quarterly audit report, but he hated Ed Sheeran.

3 | You’ve Lost That Feeling of Love – Brother Justice
Our influencer spends more time with her girlfriend. Sharma Jr kept warning her that she was careless and had to party outdoors. She has coronavirus. pass it on to him. He yelled, “You gave me the virus!” She yelled back, “At least, I gave you something! When was the last time you gave me anything? He deleted her favorite playlist in revenge. Anyway, he’s tired of her playing “You’ve Lost That Feeling of Love” on a loop. They decide to isolate alone in the same house. Most couples get here at some point. Some stay forever.

4 | Love Me Again – John Newman
If Sharma Jr and our bathroom singer decide to really introspect, seek therapy, or even listen to the Esther Perel podcast regularly, they’ll realize that love isn’t something poor sods are led to believe. Ready to jump over this hurdle, our bathroom singer started her way through, “Now I’m rising from the ground up to you, full of all the power I’ve found, there’s nothing I can’t do.”

Unfortunately, this wrecked some of their progress as her voice was rather raspy. But little Sharma now knows that he cannot expect his partner to be perfect in every way, as he once thought it was mandatory. They have learned to recognize that love has nothing to do with the pursuit of perfection. In short, it’s a connection built on empathy. To love is to find someone who accepts you as a flawed person. The bond you build with someone who knows your damaged parts, despite being rubbed and worn by the jagged edges, still folds you back into their hearts.

In return, the bathroom singer stumbles upon a key revelation. She realized that her partner couldn’t be a spoonful of sugar and a jar of vinegar. Nor can he turn into watermelon, carrots and ice apples when needed. He was a turnip and she had to accept that was all he was.


The views expressed above are the author’s own.

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