Opinion: Avoid These Mistakes on Valentine’s Day

Opinion: Avoid These Mistakes on Valentine's Day

Opinion: Avoid These Mistakes on Valentine’s Day


Valentine’s Day is one of those holidays that is always overwhelmingly stressful. Reference to decades-long pop culture and advertising messages if you will, but social background radiation is still a drug. Too often we are so focused on how things are that we give very little thought to what they actually are.

So today, while there’s still time to plan, we’re going to lay out some important notes for your February 14th.

don’t go out to eat

Candlelight dinner for two on Valentine’s Day is a lie, and every waiter on the planet will tell you the moment their tips aren’t online. Restaurants endure it less than celebrating Valentine’s Day, while couples try to make up for a year’s lack of romance with steak and wine. Restaurants can be so crowded that you can’t even hear each other, menus are often limited, and the never-ending rush of customers means dining tends to go awry more. This is on top of all COVID dangers. Maybe you can try cooking a favorite meal together.

do not propose

Proposing a marriage is a very personal and complex thing, and it’s best to make sure the person you’re asking isn’t under any undue pressure. Associating a marriage proposal with a vacation is always a risky move, and it’s not fair to the other person unless you’re absolutely sure they’ll say yes. No one wants to say they’re not ready for what’s next for Valentine’s Day, so the whole act might feel a little manipulative.

Don’t go shopping on Valentine’s Day

Every Valentine’s Day trip to the grocery store is the saddest thing about consumer capitalism. For the most part, the aisles are crowded with cis men walking around, looking lost, blindly reaching for a bouquet of roses and a small box of chocolates to make them look good. There’s nothing quite like the sheer industrialization of romantic feelings in a Valentine’s tent in Kroger’s parking lot. Also, the quality of grocery stores is often poor. If flowers and chocolate are essential to your Valentine’s Day, now is the time to order delivery at a reasonable price.

no first date

Remember the marriage proposal I said? The same goes for finding a new romantic partner on Valentine’s Day. Listen, I know no one wants to be alone on a couple days, but it’s a terrible reason to go out with someone. Booty calls are fine. Buying a sex toy at night is also good. Don’t drag a stranger into your needs because the calendar forces you into it.

Do not have unprotected sex

The world doesn’t need more Scorpios.

Don’t try to bribe each other with gifts

The goal of this vacation should be to simply express your appreciation for your romantic partner. Not so you can erase their memory of you spending some of your savings on an NFT as a smoking monkey with a diamond earring. This is not when you use expensive purchases to try and trade the sex you’ve always wanted to try. This is definitely not the time for “there, I bought you a gadget, so you have to keep quiet”. Tell them your love for them in whatever way they most appreciate. Don’t try to live up to the pop culture image. Those people are just pretending to be in love. You should be the real deal.

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