Halloween Jokes, One Liners and Riddles About Ghosts and Vampires
So, if you are into trick or treating, assuming ghost hood or ghost-cheating, get ready to indulge in the most hilarious Halloween turnout. JOKES, I mean. The one’s you’ll die Laughing after reading.
We’re not counting on it, but hoping that you might go from here a bit enlightened about the subject of approaching ghosts on their day of munchies. Be it vampire jokes, witch Jokes or zombie jokes, we are going to cover all.
Question: Why didn’t the skeleton want to go to school?
Answer: His heart wasn’t in it.
Question: Why did the skeleton cross the road?
Answer: To get to the body shop.
Question: What do ghosts use to wash their hair?
Question: What did the little girl say when she had to choose between a tricycle and a candy bar?
Answer: “Trike or Treat”?
Question: What do you call a fat pumpkin?
Answer: A plumpkin.
Question: What room does a ghost not need?
Answer: A living room!
Question: Why are ghosts so bad at lying?
Answer: Because you can see right through them!
Question: Why didn’t the skeleton cross the road?
Answer: He didn’t have any guts!
Question: Who did Frankenstein take to the dance?
Answer: His “ghoul” friend!
Question: Why is Superman’s costume so tight?
Answer: Because he wears a size “S”.
Frankenstein to Witch: Can you make me a lemonade?
Witch to Frankenstein: Poof you are lemonade!
Question: Why didn’t the skeleton go to the ball?
Answer: Because he had no BODY to go with.
Question: What do you get when you cross a witch with sand?
Answer: A sandwich!
Kid: “Mommy, Kevin says I look like a werewolf.”
Mom: “Just ignore him. Now go and comb your face”.
Question: When is it bad luck to be followed by a black cat?
Answer: When you’re a mouse.
Question: What is a vampire’s favorite fruit?
Answer: A nectarine!
Question: What do birds say on Halloween?
Answer: Twick o tweet
Question: What do moms dress up as on Halloween?
Question: What is a ghost’s favorite fruit?
Question: What kind of dessert does a ghost like?
Answer: I scream!
Question: What does a skeleton say before dinner?
Answer: Bone appetit!
Question: What does a witch use to keep her hair up?
Question: What do you get when you cross a Cocker Spaniel, a Poodle and a ghost?
Answer: A cocker poodle boo.
Question: What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
Question: What kind of pants do ghosts wear?
Question: What do vampires take when they are sick?
Answer: Coffin drops!
Question: Why do ghosts make good cheerleaders?
Answer: Because they have a lot of spirit.
Question: Why is a skeleton so mean?
Answer: He doesn’t have a heart.
Question: What goes around a haunted house and never stops?
Answer: A fence.
Question: What do you do when 50 zombies surround your house?
Answer: Hope it’s Halloween!!
Question: What did the ghost say to the other ghost?
Answer: Do you believe in humans?
Question: What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?
Answer: Count Quackula!
Question: Where do ghosts buy their food?
Answer: At the ghost-ery store!
Question: What did one owl say to the other owl?
Answer: Happy Owl-ween!
Question: What do ghosts eat for supper?
Question: What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?
Question: What is a ghost’s favorite pie?
Answer: Booberry pie!
Related read: Halloween Knock Knock Jokes.
Funny Halloween Riddles
Riddle: How do monsters tell their future?
Answer: By reading their horrorscope.
Riddle: Ghosts are often a messy eaters, why?
Answer: Because they are always goblin.
Riddle: What do you call a monster who poisons corn flakes?
Answer: A cereal killer.
Riddle: Where do most goblins live?
Answer: North and South Scarolina.
Riddle: Why do demons and ghouls hang out together?
Answer: Because demons are a ghouls best friend!
Riddle: What’s a monster’s favorite bean?
Answer: A human bean.
Riddle: When a goblin comes home from work what does he say his wife?
Answer: “Hey pumpkin!”
Riddle: What do you call a goblin who gets too close to a bonfire?
Answer: A toasty ghosty.
Riddle: What do you call two spiders that just got married?
Riddle: What do Italian’s eat on Halloween?
Answer: Fettucinni Afraid-o (Ha ha ha)
Riddle: What do you get when you cross a black cat with a lemon.
Riddle: What do you get when you cross a pumpkin with a skwaush?
Answer: a squashed pumpkin pie.
Riddle: When do gholes cook their victims?
Answer: On Fry Day
Riddle: How do you keep a monster from biting his nails?
Answer: Give him screws.
Riddle: Why did the headless horseman go into business?
Answer: He wanted to get ahead in life.
Riddle: Who did Frankenstein take to the prom?
Answer: His ghoul friend
Riddle: What is a mummy favorite type of song?
Riddle: What’s a monster’s favorite play?
Answer: Romeo and Ghouliet
Riddle: Riddle: the maker does not want it, the buyer does not use it, and the user does not see it, what is it?
Answer: a coffin.
Riddle: Do zombies eat popcorn with their fingers?
Answer: No, they eat the fingers separately…
Riddle: Why did the man with a knife in his head cross the street?
Answer: He was dying to get to the other side!!
Riddle: What did the corpse’ mom do when her son was bad?
Answer: Ground him
Riddle: What’s the ratio of a pumpkin’s circumference to its diameter?
Answer: Pumpkin Pi
Riddle: What did the bird say on Halloween?
Answer: Trick or tweet!
Riddle: What did the goblin say to the witch?
Answer: I don’t know you tell me!
Riddle: Where did the goblin throw the football?
Answer: Over the ghoul line
Riddle: What is a monster’s favorite food?
Answer: Ghoul scout cookies
Riddle: What do you cross Michael Myers and a box of cherrios?
Answer: A cereal killer.
Riddle: What did the mummy say to the invisible man?
Answer: Wow, your costume is see through
Riddle: What can’t you give the headless horseman?
Answer: A headache.
Riddle: How do you get to the witch apartments?
Answer. Go to the dead end and take a fright.
Riddle: What kind of hot dog do you eat on Halloween?
Answer: a Halloweenie
Riddle: What do you give to a pumpkin who is trying to quit smoking?
Answer: A pumpkin patch!!!
Riddle: When a blonde knock’s on your door on Halloween what kind of candy do you give her?
Answer: An airhead
Riddle: What would a monster’s psychiatrist be called?
Riddle: What did the graveyard digger say to the girl tomb?
Answer: I dig you
Riddle: What do the movies Halloween and Shrek have in common?
Answer: Michael Myers!
Riddle: What is a ghoul’s favorite flavor?
Riddle: Why did the monster fall asleep on his bicycle?
Answer: Because he was two tired.
Riddle: Why was the compter scary?
Answer: It had a terrorbyte.
Riddle: Why does a cemetery have to keep a fence around it?
Answer: Because people are dying to get in.
Riddle: Did you hear about the dead cow that come back to life?
Answer: She only eats GRAAIINNS.
Hilarious Halloween one liners
Ghost Joke one liners
Who writes book about Halloween? A ghostwriter.
According to you which ghost is the best dancer? Me: The Boogie Man!
Cobwebs are piece of decoration in my house today! All thanks to Halloween.
What’s a monsters favorite desert? I-Scream!
How do Rednecks celebrate Halloween? Pump kin.
What do you call a dancing ghost? Polka-haunt-us.
What do you call a hot dog with nothing inside it? A “hollow-weenie!”
Hope you like these Halloween jokes mentioned above. So which one of these you are going to use?
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