Halloween Jokes, One Liners and Riddles About Ghosts and Vampires

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Halloween Jokes

Halloween Jokes, One Liners and Riddles About Ghosts and Vampires

Halloween Jokes

So, if you are into trick or treating, assuming ghost hood or ghost-cheating, get ready to indulge in the most hilarious Halloween turnout. JOKES, I mean. The one’s you’ll die Laughing after reading.

We’re not counting on it, but hoping that you might go from here a bit enlightened about the subject of approaching ghosts on their day of munchies. Be it vampire jokes, witch Jokes or zombie jokes, we are going to cover all.

Halloween Jokes

Question: Why didn’t the skeleton want to go to school?
Answer: His heart wasn’t in it.

Question: Why did the skeleton cross the road?
Answer: To get to the body shop.

Question: What do ghosts use to wash their hair?
Answer: Shamboo!

Question: What did the little girl say when she had to choose between a tricycle and a candy bar?
Answer: “Trike or Treat”?

Question: What do you call a fat pumpkin?
Answer: A plumpkin.

Question: What room does a ghost not need?
Answer: A living room!

Question: Why are ghosts so bad at lying?
Answer: Because you can see right through them!

Question: Why didn’t the skeleton cross the road?
Answer: He didn’t have any guts!

Question: Who did Frankenstein take to the dance?
Answer: His “ghoul” friend!

Question: Why is Superman’s costume so tight?
Answer: Because he wears a size “S”.

Frankenstein to Witch: Can you make me a lemonade?
Witch to Frankenstein: Poof you are lemonade!

Question: Why didn’t the skeleton go to the ball?
Answer: Because he had no BODY to go with.

Question: What do you get when you cross a witch with sand?
Answer: A sandwich!

Kid: “Mommy, Kevin says I look like a werewolf.”
Mom: “Just ignore him. Now go and comb your face”.

Question: When is it bad luck to be followed by a black cat?
Answer: When you’re a mouse.

Question: What is a vampire’s favorite fruit?
Answer: A nectarine!

Question: What do birds say on Halloween?
Answer: Twick o tweet

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Question: What do moms dress up as on Halloween?
Answer: Mummies!

Question: What is a ghost’s favorite fruit?
Answer: Booberries!

Question: What kind of dessert does a ghost like?
Answer: I scream!

Question: What does a skeleton say before dinner?
Answer: Bone appetit!

Question: What does a witch use to keep her hair up?
Answer: Scarespray!

Question: What do you get when you cross a Cocker Spaniel, a Poodle and a ghost?
Answer: A cocker poodle boo.

Question: What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
Answer: Frostbite.

Question: What kind of pants do ghosts wear?
Answer: Boo-Jeans.

Question: What do vampires take when they are sick?
Answer: Coffin drops!

Question: Why do ghosts make good cheerleaders?
Answer: Because they have a lot of spirit.

Question: Why is a skeleton so mean?
Answer: He doesn’t have a heart.

Question: What goes around a haunted house and never stops?
Answer: A fence.

Question: What do you do when 50 zombies surround your house?
Answer: Hope it’s Halloween!!

Question: What did the ghost say to the other ghost?
Answer: Do you believe in humans?

Question: What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?
Answer: Count Quackula!

Question: Where do ghosts buy their food?
Answer: At the ghost-ery store!

Question: What did one owl say to the other owl?
Answer: Happy Owl-ween!

Question: What do ghosts eat for supper?
Answer: Spooketi

Question: What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?
Answer: Spelling.

Question: What is a ghost’s favorite pie?
Answer: Booberry pie!

Related read: Halloween Knock Knock Jokes.

Funny Halloween Riddles

Riddle:  How do monsters tell their future?
Answer: By reading their horrorscope.

Riddle:  Ghosts are often a messy eaters, why?
Answer: Because they are always goblin.

Riddle:  What do you call a monster who poisons corn flakes?
Answer: A cereal killer.

Riddle:  Where do most goblins live?
Answer: North and South Scarolina.

Riddle:  Why do demons and ghouls hang out together?
Answer: Because demons are a ghouls best friend!

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Riddle:  What’s a monster’s favorite bean?
Answer: A human bean.

Riddle:  When a goblin comes home from work what does he say his wife?
Answer: “Hey pumpkin!”

Riddle:  What do you call a goblin who gets too close to a bonfire?
Answer: A toasty ghosty.

Riddle:  What do you call two spiders that just got married?
Answer: Newlywebbed

Riddle:  What do Italian’s eat on Halloween?
Answer: Fettucinni Afraid-o (Ha ha ha)

Riddle:  What do you get when you cross a black cat with a lemon.
Answer: sour-puss

Riddle:  What do you get when you cross a pumpkin with a skwaush?
Answer: a squashed pumpkin pie.

Riddle:  When do gholes cook their victims?
Answer: On Fry Day

Riddle:  How do you keep a monster from biting his nails?
Answer: Give him screws.

Riddle:  Why did the headless horseman go into business?
Answer: He wanted to get ahead in life.

Riddle:  Who did Frankenstein take to the prom?
Answer: His ghoul friend

Riddle:  What is a mummy favorite type of song?
Answer: Wrap.

Riddle:  What’s a monster’s favorite play?
Answer: Romeo and Ghouliet

Riddle:  Riddle: the maker does not want it, the buyer does not use it, and the user does not see it, what is it?
Answer: a coffin.

Riddle:  Do zombies eat popcorn with their fingers?
Answer: No, they eat the fingers separately…

Riddle:  Why did the man with a knife in his head cross the street?
Answer: He was dying to get to the other side!!

Riddle:  What did the corpse’ mom do when her son was bad?
Answer: Ground him

Riddle:  What’s the ratio of a pumpkin’s circumference to its diameter?
Answer: Pumpkin Pi

Riddle:  What did the bird say on Halloween?
Answer: Trick or tweet!

Riddle:  What did the goblin say to the witch?
Answer: I don’t know you tell me!

Riddle:  Where did the goblin throw the football?
Answer: Over the ghoul line

Riddle:  What is a monster’s favorite food?
Answer: Ghoul scout cookies

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Riddle:  What do you cross Michael Myers and a box of cherrios?
Answer: A cereal killer.

Riddle:  What did the mummy say to the invisible man?
Answer: Wow, your costume is see through

Riddle:  What can’t you give the headless horseman?
Answer: A headache.

Riddle: How do you get to the witch apartments?
Answer. Go to the dead end and take a fright.

Riddle:  What kind of hot dog do you eat on Halloween?
Answer: a Halloweenie

Riddle:  What do you give to a pumpkin who is trying to quit smoking?
Answer: A pumpkin patch!!!

Riddle:  When a blonde knock’s on your door on Halloween what kind of candy do you give her?
Answer: An airhead

Riddle:  What would a monster’s psychiatrist be called?
Answer: Shrinkenstein…

Riddle:  What did the graveyard digger say to the girl tomb?
Answer: I dig you

Riddle:  What do the movies Halloween and Shrek have in common?
Answer: Michael Myers!

Riddle:  What is a ghoul’s favorite flavor?
Answer: Lemon-slime…

Riddle:  Why did the monster fall asleep on his bicycle?
Answer: Because he was two tired.

Riddle:  Why was the compter scary?
Answer: It had a terrorbyte.

Riddle:  Why does a cemetery have to keep a fence around it?
Answer: Because people are dying to get in.

Riddle:  Did you hear about the dead cow that come back to life?
Answer: She only eats GRAAIINNS.

Hilarious Halloween one liners

Ghost Joke one liners

Who writes book about Halloween? A ghostwriter.

According to you which ghost is the best dancer? Me: The Boogie Man!

Cobwebs are piece of decoration in my house today! All thanks to Halloween.

What’s a monsters favorite desert? I-Scream!

How do Rednecks celebrate Halloween? Pump kin.

What do you call a dancing ghost? Polka-haunt-us.

What do you call a hot dog with nothing inside it? A “hollow-weenie!”

Hope you like these Halloween jokes mentioned above. So which one of these you are going to use?

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96 shares, 77 points