Conversation Hearts are the Best Valentine’s Day Candy

Conversation Hearts are the Best Valentine's Day Candy

Conversation Hearts are the Best Valentine’s Day Candy


Photo: Cj Gunther/EPA/Shutterstock

Hello, my name is Olivia and I have been a hopeless romantic for over 30 years. I am also tragically single. But while Valentine’s Day, a holiday full of love and romance, seemed designed specifically to make me feel bad for myself, I persevered. why? Because on Valentine’s Day, I can indulge in my favorite holiday-themed treat: Conversation Hearts.

For as long as I can remember, I’ve loved heart candies, aka talking hearts, aka sweethearts. My first email address is Heartcandy9@[REDACTED]. At the time, I was certain of only two things in this world: I loved hearts, and I was 9 years old. While my emails have changed over the years, my love for hearts hasn’t wavered.

Make no mistake: Talking Hearts is the best thing about Valentine’s Day. It’s not about the taste, I’m told it’s universally described as “disgusting” and “inedible”, although I insist they are sugary delicacy (except for the white taste, which is a strange and impressive Mint, neither sweet nor minty enough to justify its presence). To me, the gimmick that really gets the heart of the conversation going. Traditionally, the heart of the conversation is imprinted with personal and romantic messages such as “XOXO”, “kiss me” and “email me”. More current examples include “text me” and “bae”.

Being single forever taught me some important lessons: how to eat alone at a restaurant without being bored or embarrassed, and you should always do it, always Treat yourself to Valentine’s Day. I don’t care how many times you tell yourself it’s a fictional holiday made popular to boost the greeting card and chocolate industries, and a little treat never hurts anyone.There are three very specific things that make candy hearts only The Valentine’s Day treat you need.

Well, I admit, the heart of the conversation doesn’t taste much. Eating a candy heart is like biting into a piece of sugary chalk with a few drops of artificial flavor. It sounds a little gross, but it’s also light enough that you can eat a whole box without feeling sick. Not to mention if you want to use mint flavor as breath mint, if you like that kind of thing, you can save white hearts and eat them at the end.

I’ll never forget the absolute thrill of opening a box of sweethearts when I was 9 years old and eating a heart that said “kiss me.” Over the years, the message in the heart of the conversation has become less romantic and more platonic. “Call Me” has become “UR Great” or “Go 4 It”, and candy hearts have generally lost any seductive charm they once had have.But it’s 2022 and I’ll take any encouragement I can get it.

This is America, and anyone can go to their local drugstore and buy a box of sweets for a dollar. A good box of chocolate is at least 10 to 20 times more expensive, and, depending on what you can afford, you’ll get a stomach ache if you eat it all in one sitting. That’s not the case with Conversation Heart, which comes in neat little boxes that you can completely empty and still basically feel like you haven’t eaten anything.

Bottom line: Candy Hearts is a love poem that you can (a) give to yourself without shame or regret, and (b) eat. Literally, there are zero downsides.

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