Avoid These Bad Valentine’s Day Candies at All Costs

Avoid These Bad Valentine's Day Candies at All Costs

Avoid These Bad Valentine’s Day Candies at All Costs


Valentine's Day candies on thick wrapping paper

Photo: Chestnut (Getty Images)

Roses are red; violets are blue; if you choose the wrong Valentine’s Day candy, you’re screwed.This is our creed takeout, we take sweets very, very seriously. For candy connoisseurs, bland Valentine’s Day candies send an irreparable message. It read: “Hey, this is a last minute gift I bought at the convenience store on my way here. But I love you or whatever.”

There are plenty of delicious Valentine’s Day gifts at your fingertips. Don’t show up for one of these nasty desserts.

Heart shaped box of various chocolates

I have control issues in every area of ​​my life, which is why I hate those grocery store end cap chocolate boxes. On the one hand, since Christmas, chocolates are usually hardened after sitting on the shelves. And, as Forrest Gump goes: You never know what you’re going to get. again, you never know what you’ll get.

In my experience, a standard 12-bar chocolate combo contains four or five good choices swimming in a minefield of bland turtles, orthodontic caramel, and weird orange cream. of course there are exceptions. Chicago-based Fannie May has always rocked my world, and independently owned chocolatiers usually do really well because their products are fresher. But if it’s shaped like a heart and available next to Walgreens’ floss, I might pass. (Please note: this does not work with single candy bars. I get those from Walgreens all the time.)-Lillian Stone

seconded. I have to say, the variety of chocolate boxes you can get at the drugstore sucks. (I’m looking specifically at you, Russell Stover and Whitman’s.) What, do you stuff those chocolates with wax or something? On the surface, the little candies look appealing. I mean, who doesn’t love chocolate caramel or raspberry nougat truffles?

But always the first bite makes me mad.Chocolate always sucks and the filling is chewy and bland, what do you eat think Being a profession of love actually feels more like “Hey, I’ve been wanting to talk to you. It’s not going to work.” – Dennis Lee

dialogue heart

Yes, soft-talking hearts (also known by their Necco brand name Sweethearts) are basically a universal symbol of Valentine’s Day, but who among us is actually enjoying box after box of these treats? These candies are bland at best, and at worst, the chalky makeup of Tums, with no heartburn relief. The flavor combination doesn’t quite set (holly, orange, lime, blueberry, banana, grape, and cherry), so removing some of them all at once leaves a confusing flavor. And for the record, those little notes on each piece of candy aren’t as cute as you might think. “be mine”? Don’t tell me what to do! –Brianna Waylon

Various forms of white chocolate

I understand the aesthetic you’re trying to achieve by ruining all the typical brown milk and dark chocolate candies with a white chocolate crust, but it’s unnecessary and objectionable. The color is never completely white (somewhat yellow?) and the chocolate taste is not right. I’m sure some people love good white chocolate, but I promise you, candy company, they’ll love it better another day. Don’t gamble with your Valentine’s clientele just for the visuals.

Plus, white chocolate treats are almost always full of fruity flavors that no one asks for. If you choose chocolate this holiday season, at least stick to something simple. If you don’t, I guarantee your lover will look at you and think, “Is the white chocolate heavily discounted or what?” —Angela L. Pagán, Staff Writer

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