75+ Hilarious Birthday Jokes | Reader’s Digest Canada

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75+ Hilarious Birthday Jokes | Reader's Digest Canada

75+ Hilarious Birthday Jokes | Reader’s Digest Canada

6 / 14

Birthday jokes - surprise partyPhoto: Shutterstock

Surprise Parties

I’ve never enjoyed my surprise birthday parties because all I can think about is how good my friends are at lying to my face.

Cheers, Facebook!
Thanks to Facebook, I never forget the birthdays of people I don’t really know. —Andy Borowitz

What Have You Achieved?
Birthdays are just participation awards in life. —
Brian Millward

The best way to remember your wife’s birthday is to forget it once.

Always Changing Numbers
It’s easier to remember your age if you don’t change it every year.

Don’t miss these knee-slapping knock knock jokes!

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Birthday jokes - friends with babiesPhoto: Shutterstock

Baby Cakes

It’s always a good idea to make friends with babies. That’s free cake once a year for a lifetime.

Sound Investment
My mother-in-law is like a fine wine. She gets more expensive with age. —Ben McKay

Short Term Memory’s the First to Go
Today is your birthday, so congratulate yourself—especially if you’re still young enough to remember it.

Identity Crisis
I used to be a boy trapped in a woman’s body. But after 9 long months, I was finally born!

Can’t Blow Out the Candles
The older you get, the more you need to keep a fire extinguisher close to the cake.

These hilarious DIY jokes are sure to bring down the house!

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Birthday jokes - Lincoln's birthdayPhoto: Shutterstock

Crazy Coincidence, That!

Q: What do George Washington, Abraham Lincoln, and Christopher Columbus all have in common?
A: They were all born on holidays.

Unique Gift
Every year on my birthday, I looked forward to my aunt’s gift—a scarf, hat, or sweater knitted by hand. One year, she must have had better things to do because I received a ball of yarn, knitting needles, and a how-to-knit book. Her card read, “Scarf, some assembly required.”

Birthday Greetings
Greeting Cards: When you care enough to send the very best but not enough to actually write something.

Do the Math
I read that 60 is the new 40, which is a really nice way of saying that I’ll have to work an extra 25 years before I can retire. —
Brian Millward

Glass Half-Empty
I was born to be a pessimist. My blood type is B Negative.

These are the best jokes from up-and-coming Canadian comedians.

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84 shares, 65 points