33 Funny Santa Jokes – Best Jokes About Santa for Christmas
There’s so much to love about Christmas. From the tree farms that smell like childhood to the small towns decked out in lights and the Christmas movies you can watch over and over, the holiday season seems like something out of a fairytale.
But the days leading up to December 25 can also feel like the most
wonderful stressful time of the year. After you’ve put up your Christmas decorations, finalized your dinner menu, and ordered the perfect present for everyone on your list, you deserve a break. But if that’s not an option, you can make yourself a Christmas cocktail (or two) and find something to laugh at—like this list of funny Santa jokes.
These fun and family-friendly jokes about Santa Claus and Christmas will put a smile on your face and remind you why the holiday season is so magical. From Christmas puns about Santa’s little elves to one-liners about the big guy squeezing down chimneys, we found something that will get a giggle out of everyone this year. You can tell these jokes during dessert, share them with your kids before bedtime, or even write them in your Christmas cards. (If you’re feeling humorous, you can also add in these reindeer jokes.)
‘Tis the season to laugh until your stomach hurts!
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Funny Jokes About Santa
- How much did Santa’s sleigh cost? It was on the house.
- Why is Santa scared of chimneys? Because he’s claus-trophobic.
- How you can tell that Santa is real? You can always sense his presents.
- What nationality is Santa Claus? North Polish.
- Why did Mrs. Claus get mad at Santa? Because her husband was a flake.
- What’s Santa’s favorite type of music? Wrap.
- Why is Santa so good at karate? He has a black belt.
- Why does Santa go through the chimney? Because it soots him.
- What do you call a kid who doesn’t believe in Santa? A rebel without a Claus.
- How does Santa take pictures? With his Pole-aroid camera.
- What kind of motorcycle does Santa ride? A “Holly” Davidson.
- How much did Santa’s sleigh cost? It was on the house!
- Why was Santa’s little helper so sad? He had low elf-esteem.
- Who is Santa’s least favorite reindeer? Rude-olph.
- Why did Santa go to the liquor store? He was looking for holiday spirits.
- What do you call Santa’s little helpers? Subordinate Clauses.
- Why don’t you ever see Santa Claus in the hospital? Because he has private elf care.
Cute Santa Jokes for Kids
Jose Luis Pelaez
- How does Santa take care of sick people? He nurses them back to elf.
- What does Santa eat for breakfast? Frosted Flakes.
- What do you call Santa when he’s wearing ear muffs? Anything, he can’t hear you.
- Where does Santa cash his checks? At the snow bank.
- What’s Santa’s favorite candy? Jolly Ranchers.
- What’s red and green and flies? A sleigh-sick Santa.
- Who delivers Christmas presents to cats and dogs? Santa Paws.
- What’s big and jolly and says, “Oh, oh, oh”? Santa Claus walking backwards.
- Why does Santa have trouble spelling? He thinks the alphabet has Noel.
- What did Santa name his pet frog? Mistletoad.
- Where does Santa stay on vacation? At a ho-ho-hotel.
- How does Santa get his sleigh to fly? I have no eye deer.
- What’s Santa’s favorite potato chip? Kringles.
- What do Santa’s elves learn in school? The elf-abet.
- What you get when you cross a duck with Santa? A Christmas quacker.
- What do you call a cat who works for Santa? Santa Claws.
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