10 things not to do this Valentine’s Day

Broken roses in a broken vase. Floral on the floor. Broken vase on the floor. optimal.

10 things not to do this Valentine’s Day


Broken roses in a broken vase. Floral on the floor. Broken vase on the floor. optimal.

Roses are red – but are they really what she wants? (Getty Images)

Valentine’s Day is almost here. For many, it’s a night of watching Netflix and a ready-to-eat meal like any other night. For others, it’s the most stressful night of the year, bringing with it the anticipation of an engagement ring, a box of roses and a starry manifesto.

Granted, most of us will make do with a card and a meal-for-two deal, but to be fair, the day is filled with the potential for romantic disaster. So here’s our handy guide on what not to do this V-Day.

1 Don’t buy underwear

Lace sexy lingerie for women in red, burgundy: bra and panties.

Too big or too small? It’s definitely one or the other. (Getty Images)

Choosing underwear for your partner is always fraught with dangers. The size is too small to indicate that you want them to lose weight. Too big, maybe you think they’re a bit on the heavy side? If it’s too sexy, the gift seems to suit you better than her – not sexy enough, it shows you see your partner as a useful roommate who needs warm panties.

Red and lace are cheesy, black and silky are high expectations, and white and virgin are a little creepy. The whole gift also shows that you expect it to be worn, right away. avoid.

Instead: Ask her what she wants—and buy it together.

2 Don’t buy garage flowers

holiday greetings. Smiling black man covers woman's eyes and surprises beautiful lady by handing her bouquet of red roses.African American couple celebrating together at home or cafe

“Honestly, you’re going to be excited. I went to the garage on purpose.” (Getty Images)

As Chandler Bing said, can you be any more lazy? A bouquet of flowers snatched from the garage or supermarket is the equivalent of taking her to Wetherspoons on your first date.

It’s easy, cheap, and requires very little effort. The same goes for 12 standard, unscented red roses, although they can be expensive. It’s also obvious, very unimaginative, and as far as she knows, you’ve also sent a bunch to the last five women on the “recent calls” list.

Instead: Go to a florist and pick up a curated bouquet that reminds you of hers.

read more: Sex, Love and Rock – Celebrity Secrets That Made Romance Stand the Test of Time

3 Don’t hold an unexpected engagement

"You are my chopsticks. You can..." (Getty Images)

“You are my chopsticks for rice. You will…” (Getty Images)

Nobody likes a big surprise, no matter what they suggest. And asking someone to marry you without any warning – at worst in a public place – is often referred to as “a bad surprise”. Of course, it can also be certain that at the end the entire dining room is on its feet and applauding your hug – or it may fall apart like a withered rose as your partner looks at the ring box and the horror dawns.

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Instead: give them a hint that you want to ask. Unless they are very dramatic, ask privately. just in case.

Watch: 72% of parents say they still get flustered when they see their partner

4 Don’t start cooking at home

Failed cooking in the kitchen Stock Photos. Shadow dof. Developed from RAW; retouched with special care and attention; added a small amount of grain for the best final impression.  16-bit Adobe RGB color profile.

If you don’t know what you’re doing, now is not the time to explore. (Getty Images)

Cooking for your partner is a wonderful thing – but if you’re not a seasoned cook, that’s why God invented Deliveroo.

Struggling for eight hours to make bacterial fish sauce on hot bread, sauced pasta in a jar and cheesecake that tastes like a cheesy triangle and a lime-flavored toilet cleaner isn’t worth it.

Your partner will appreciate your delicious takeaway, trust us.

Instead: only cook if you know what you’re doing. Otherwise, please place an order.

5 Don’t forget to book a restaurant

Angry couple walking down the street after quarrel

“It’s okay, I have a can of expired beans at home.” (Getty Images)

“Well, McDonald’s can be romantic, if we sit in the back and share some nuggets…” If you don’t book a restaurant in advance, you’re going to get down to that.

You’ll wander the streets and be turned away wherever you go for mocking Mâitre D’s whisper “Do you have our reservation?” and pointing out the crowded room behind them. Coming home at 9pm, numb from the cold, with a bag of chips and a sore foot, isn’t romantic.

Instead: book in advance. It’s not difficult.

6 Don’t expect sex

Bored woman lying in bed

“That’s a really big meal, isn’t it, honey?” (Getty Images)

Valentine’s Day does come with certain hopes and expectations. But if spectacular sex is one of them, you may not be as lucky as you hope.

After three courses and a bottle of wine, few people in their 40s really want to be naked and wild. They might rather read another chapter and go to bed. If you want to mark the occasion with a sensory experience, then try to avoid stuffing yourself in first.

Instead: grab a snack. A glass of champagne and go to bed early.

read more: Valentine’s Day Date Night Ideas That No Cost

7 Don’t start a deep relationship chat

Couple in their 50s sitting at table, woman with pensive expression and talking with clasped hands

“It’s just that I don’t think you’re listening to my needs…” (Getty Images)

The problem with romance is that it often encourages deep conversation. Deep conversation leads to “Things are…” and “It’s just that we never talk about…” All of a sudden you’re sitting in a restaurant tricked by flowers and lights, crying over domestic bin rota.

Tonight is not the night for a “cards on the table, let’s discuss our problems” conversation. Save it for the weekend.

Instead: keep it easy – if that’s unlikely, go to the movies together.

8 Don’t Repeat Dating

Portrait of three young people sitting together in a cafe. A group of young friends meet in a coffee shop.

“We’re glad you came, Sue, to be honest.” (Getty Images)

come on. Valentine’s Day may be commercial bullshit, but that’s not a reason to start inviting everyone on a date. Have a dinner party, hang out with another couple, invite your single friends…it might be fun, but it doesn’t mean romance.

In fact, it says, “I really don’t want to be with you one-on-one.”

Instead: just keep the two of you, eh? Just this night.

read more: Best Valentine’s Day Hampers of 2022: Marks & Spencer, Fortnum & Mason, and More

9 Don’t choose romantic movies

Senior man sitting on sofa in living room at home and showing something on his wife's digital tablet. Senior woman peeking at the screen.

“It says they only have a Spanish dub version” (Getty Images)

Going to the cinema is always fun and can be romantic with the right movie. Pick one on Netflix or Prime, not so much. Because you’ll be there for an hour, arguing fiercely about which one to watch.

“I love proposals!” “We’ve seen it nine times, let’s watch something new. How about an action movie?” “It’s Valentine’s Day!” You end up watching an episode dog behaving badly sullen.

Instead: agree in advance, or book a night at the movie.

10 Don’t send “fun” cards or gifts

Portrait of upset blond young adult woman holding red striped gift box with sad expression, disappointed with birthday present. Indoor studio shot isolated on blue background.

“Why give me a facelift voucher?” (Getty Images)

It’s almost ok to buy your partner a gift and lightly laugh at their cuteness. Buy a brutal criticism brick wrapped in an old sock of “joke”, no.

Valentine’s Day isn’t a time for humorous reminders of your shortcomings, a gift of dish gloves “because you never wash your face” or a screwdriver “to remind you that those shelves need to be put up”.

Instead: buy something romantic to show your appreciation for them. It’s not difficult.

Observation: Nearly half of Americans end a relationship because of the bad guy in the kitchen.

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